The answer

The answer

In my mind

When everything is still

I can feel the answer light a path from the darkness

At once like the wings of a butterfly

It silently drifts toward me

Only when I am still can I appreciate its beauty

But more often then not the excitement of discovery

Pushes it away from the flame within me that drew it so close

It will return?

As sure as I know my name I know it will be back

One kindred spirit beckons another

Crossroads / The Final Battle

Crossroads / The Final Battle

Within me has always been conflict

The eyes which stared back at people

Always held a spark of anger ready to be unleashed

As naturally as one breath to the next I fought for everything before me

Once awoken my need to prevail consumes me leaving a path of destruction

Whatever weapon within my grasp is fair game in my minds eye

In that moment I would sacrifice anyone because no one was safe against my wrath

Childish thoughts never took hold in my mind. That was a step a surely skipped

Words that passed through my lips held the power to wound like a dagger against the flesh

When challenged I would stand tall knowing my opponents would weaken before a single tear could fall down my face

Should I change crossed my mind as the casualties piled up before me

What good is the company of shadows when you are alone in the light

Crowds know of my talents and the brave stand by me

Believe I could never hurt them until I too believed the lie

Infections of the heart and soul can never be ignored so soon the fight began anew

Nothing stood against my attack as the sounds of the crash ringed in my ears

Around me the frenzy the was beautiful

The fire within me finally expelled till everything in its path was burned

Who could survive staring directly at the sun

Who could believe once it burned you it held no ill will to you

Words could never erase the truth or settle a frightful mind

In the barren land finally the tears fell

What good is victory when all your company is dust

On my knees, as my strength had fallen away, a hand touched my shoulder

They had seen it all I know, as it was reflected in their eyes

Bringing me to my feet, they tended to my wounds inside and out

Laid bare I am at their mercy with all my weapons and shields gone

Vulnerable to whatever they wanted to inflict on me

One heart beat after another passed until the damage was undone

Until the battle was a memory of how far malice unchecked could grow

Peace is never the absence of evil but the understanding of its presence

Scars now line my soul as a reminder of all that I lost

There is nothing left to hide when I look in the mirror and for that I am grateful

The worst of my mistakes fill my mind but no longer rule my heart

What is strain and abandonment from those around me when the darkness never leaves me

My worst day

My worst day

My worst day

Lost, alone, traveling in the dark

One mistake

Panic​ filled me

Then shame

Then I planned

Then I ran

Despite my fears

I cared on

Ugly tears line my face

My worst day

Naked, afraid, emotional

I remain

Mistakes weakened me

But I cared on

Alive for the first time in years

Awake to watch

Me fight

To act and live

Alive on my worst day

And anyone who take it over

There own

 

 

Weighing me 

Weighing me 

Looking across at the table

These people are so dear to me

They nurtured me, feed me, clothed me

They distrust me, starve me, rob me

Take away the good times

Take away the bad times

Does it equal in the palm of my hand

The love I have given them?

The time I have spent on them?

Perhaps this feeling will change

Perhaps my thoughts have lead me away

But looking across the table

Into their eyes I count the minutes

Till I leave them behind

Till they are miles away

Till this are a phone call away

Do I need their worry weighting me down?

Their voices ringing internally on repeat

Is that what becomes of relationships?

Is there a time when nothing of value 

No longer builds between us

Is there nothing left but the memories

No longer created between us

Till our lives come to an end

Till our lives come to an end

Screaming 

Screaming 

It feels good

To do all you can

To do all you must

No one can say

I didn’t care

No one can say

I didn’t try

There is a peace in knowing

All the screaming in the world

Will not change the facts

Will not change your mind

It feels good

To let it all go

To let it all go

Knowing there was nothing more I can do

Knowing I couldn’t change the ending to your story

When you refuse to do 

What you need to do

It feels good

It feels good

When I say goodbye

Each word ends without regret