The Iceberg

The Iceberg

He has no way about him

He stumbles, he falls, he crumbles

He has no way about him

He is awkward, allergic, and annoying

Still he gets to me everyday, everyway

Why despite my best efforts

His smile reaches past my barriers

His laugh breaks any sadness

What away he has with me

And I want too much from him

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It’s better this way

It’s better this way

It’s better this way

When I slow down the moment

And look close enough

The change in people’s mood

When I come into view

It’s better this way

When I realize who matters

Has stood by me and will always stands do so

I can’t ask for more

Then what one is willing to give

To try and coerce a feeling

To try and change someone

While others stand before me

Open from the start

It’s better this way

I must realize no matter what

Matters of the heart are not in my control

I always want 

I always want 

The long history

Of men coming in and out

Of my life has been on my mind

The strong, sweet, and sincere men 

Who for whatever reason never stayed

Who left me and never crossed my path

Perhaps this should get easier with time

One year after another none of them

Really came close to hurting me

And that is what hurt the most

To constantly find someone out of the many

And to be underwhelmed throughout

All the signs were there and I didn’t see it

I just always want the worse 

I just always get the worst

I just always find someone not who

Will never hurt me enough 

By actually caring too much about me

If only I knew where to go from here

The same pattern is beginning again

Another man is in my life

Everything I don’t want

Nonetheless I can’t get him out of my mind

He is strong, sweet, and sincere

Under all his shyness

He is kind, gentle, and loyal

Under his smile

He is everything I shouldn’t want

His life crossing over mine wouldn’t make 

Any sense in the world

But if he were free, I would be

By his side without question

But he isn’t, but he isn’t 

There is no changing his mind

I must change my own heart

Take one step away from him

And to never look back

The more 

The more 

It’s beating inside

That old feeling

Excitement, fear, loss

Opening the door

To all doubts

Am I acting right?

Should I do less?

Only when you are near 

My confidence disappears

My defenses collapse

This is all because

The more I get to know you

The more I want to know you

And the weightlessness in your presence

Fills me with glee

The silence without your glaze

Leaves me flatten on the ground

Is this worth it?

This pain, this lust, this desire

The gamble, the trust, the tears

Yes, yes, no matter what, yes