Weighing me 

Weighing me 

Looking across at the table

These people are so dear to me

They nurtured me, feed me, clothed me

They distrust me, starve me, rob me

Take away the good times

Take away the bad times

Does it equal in the palm of my hand

The love I have given them?

The time I have spent on them?

Perhaps this feeling will change

Perhaps my thoughts have lead me away

But looking across the table

Into their eyes I count the minutes

Till I leave them behind

Till they are miles away

Till this are a phone call away

Do I need their worry weighting me down?

Their voices ringing internally on repeat

Is that what becomes of relationships?

Is there a time when nothing of value 

No longer builds between us

Is there nothing left but the memories

No longer created between us

Till our lives come to an end

Till our lives come to an end

Hallelujah

Hallelujah

So things aren’t perfect

Understatement of the year

So things are how I imagined

So many things are as I want

But things are not always as they seem

And I’m grateful for it

Whenever things appear dim

Someone brings the light

A message to bring out the smile

So absent from my face

So many things aren’t right

But I’m grateful for it

Because so many things are right

And I’m grateful for it

And I’m grateful for it

Do I love them?

Do I love them?

Do I love them?

No, I can’t say I do

Does the thought of them

Fill me with gladness

Does their presence

Fill the hours with happiness

Do I love them?

No, I can’t say I do

Do I need them?

No, I can’t say I do

I’ve lived without them

I’ve grown leaps and bounds

Outside their glazes

They bring me down

Sadden me

Anger me

Embarrass me

Try to love me

The best way they came

As I drift further away

Do I love them?

No, I can say I never have

No, I don’t think I can

Orphaned

Orphaned

My parents

Large in my childish mind

So strong

So powerful

So scary

Never close to my heart

Never as loving as others

Too many arguments

Too many tears

Too many silences

My parents

Small in my adult mind

So weak

So naive

So foolish

Never close to my heart

Never as loving as others

Now my responsibility to bare

Tears of happiness

Tears of happiness

So often I heard people say

They were so happy

Tears rained down their face

I would smile and walk away

Never understanding how

In the darkest moment

When everything is lost

When the future is clear

Pain, hardships, and misery

Were going to rain on you

That through it all

Tears not of pain

Tears of happiness instead

Mark my face

Knowing now what I didn’t know then

That the comfort of having someone

Care enough to listen

Love transmitted with each word

Makes anything possible

Makes anything possible

No matter the circumstances to come