What is it about me

What is it about me

What is it about me

Always looking for the chase

Going out of my way

Making plans, making schemes

To get that person’s attention

Someone I know isn’t what I need

Someone half afraid to be near me

To break down their walls 

Then trumple all over till

They are left in crumbles

What does it say about me?

That the people I want most

Are the ones I will most likely

Hurt the deepest? 

My worst day

My worst day

My worst day

Lost, alone, traveling in the dark

One mistake

Panic​ filled me

Then shame

Then I planned

Then I ran

Despite my fears

I cared on

Ugly tears line my face

My worst day

Naked, afraid, emotional

I remain

Mistakes weakened me

But I cared on

Alive for the first time in years

Awake to watch

Me fight

To act and live

Alive on my worst day

And anyone who take it over

There own

 

 

Weighing me 

Weighing me 

Looking across at the table

These people are so dear to me

They nurtured me, feed me, clothed me

They distrust me, starve me, rob me

Take away the good times

Take away the bad times

Does it equal in the palm of my hand

The love I have given them?

The time I have spent on them?

Perhaps this feeling will change

Perhaps my thoughts have lead me away

But looking across the table

Into their eyes I count the minutes

Till I leave them behind

Till they are miles away

Till this are a phone call away

Do I need their worry weighting me down?

Their voices ringing internally on repeat

Is that what becomes of relationships?

Is there a time when nothing of value 

No longer builds between us

Is there nothing left but the memories

No longer created between us

Till our lives come to an end

Till our lives come to an end

No you can’t hurt me

No you can’t hurt me

No

You can’t hurt me

Try as you like

You words can’t hurt me

I have everything I’ve always dreamed of

The house, the man, the children, the love

Anything else you could say

Would pale in comparison

What could you say

To bring me down

Your only speaking your truth

As I live my own